The Real Housewives: More, Lies, Lies, and Alibis

by Diva Extraordinaire Shanda Dee, Listen to the show at:  Blogtalk Radio. 
Well folks:  Ev and Ochocinco- looks like it’s a wrap!  After a domestic situation w/ Miami Dolphins player, Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson head butting his wife, Evelyn Lozada from Basketball Wives, not only is he losing his marriage (as she has now officially filed for divorce, as of TODAY)…But he has also lost HIS JOB, and apparently his DANM MIND!  If the stars are aligned properly, Jen Williams will reach out to a devastated former friend and reclaim the friendship that broke up with this nonsense in the first place!  Hope it works out for the both of them.

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I took a peek at the new show coming up on Bravo:  Gallery Girls- this show maybe great for the 18-25 crowd, but the over 25 crowd will just turn the channel.  Why?  BORING!  It’s like the Hills relocated to Manhattan.  Been there, done that.  Also some stupid pilot called “Thicker than Water:  The Marinos”   was snuck on the air at 1am, just to see who would be watching…And of course, I WAS.  I say it was “snuck” because it wasn’t advertised at all and I just happened to be scrolling through the time slots to see when I could record the Housewives episode that I missed.  Just the  title alone screams “Goumba” if you ask me, just another wanna be Jersey Housewives…Location:  NEW JERSEY.  AND of course they’re Italian- but the odd thing is they are near Philly, which means they are somewhere in Marlton or Cherry Hill, NJ.   And where did they get the title from, HHHHMMMM, almost sounds like Caroline Manzo- remember?  “Me and my family are as thick as thieves”?  So since that was taken they said “thicker than water” …I wonder if these people could be related.  Who knows?  Theresa got her family in the game, so why wouldn’t Caroline do the same?

Now, time for last weeks recap: 

I told you that about the commercial that showed the upcoming Joe/ Theresa scandal….  Looks like Bravo was just reeling in the viewers to lead up to the next week’s episode, cuz the one they showed this week was a prelude.  And the prelude goes like this. "They are all in Napa celebrating Caroline's birthday and enjoying a group dinner when Joe gets up from the table and pretends he has to receive a business call,". "Joe disappears away from the cameras but doesn't realize that he still has a microphone on-duh (when a lady, not his wife, is heard saying 'hi baby.'- according to an insider report, because this part is not heard in the featured preview) After a while, Teresa goes looking for her husband, and is followed by the show's cameras, Joe can be clearly heard saying 'here comes my b…. wife, she's such a c***.'"  (And they left off the C- in the preview commercials, but make no mistake audience, he is that ruthless and crazy to say the C word)…. You better believe it!  Then he proceeds to play Theresa for dumb and starts talking in Italian, telling her that it’s one of his illegal workers who is straight off the boat and doesn’t speak English- great move Joe!  Just keep on diggin’ dude, cuz you are sooooooo done….

Now friends of this show- I’m gonna ask the question I always ask- straight to Theresa- Is the show worth it?  I hope so…..Can’t wait to see how Theresa back pedals out of this one.

Just to back up:  Kim Granatell ( I like to call her Kim Grandmatell ):

  Kim says she decided to leave the show in part because of what it was doing to her marriage.

"My husband told me to quit the show and change my name or he would divorce me."They pretend to be something they're not

(cast members), they owe everybody, their landscapers, their accountants, even the caterers that throw those fancy parties haven't been paid, and that's just not what I'm about. I am who I am, I don't have that sense of entitlement, I believe in paying my bills. 

Kim admits that she did receive a lot of pressure to appear on season 4, like when the producers were texting her to show up at the Posche fashion show (Ashley- ripped out Danielle Staubs extensions at the fashion show the year before last), but says for her there was no going back

"After what happened to me and Monica (Kicked out- because of Caroline and her brood) at the Gorga's Christmas party, I knew I would probably be walking into a set up, so I declined. I knew I'd made the right decision the night Jacqueline skipped out on the reunion shoot (remember she didn’t show up and Caroline accused Theresa of it being her fault- SO THAT’S WHERE SHE WAS)

she showed up at my house in tears, she wanted to see the proof that I was asked to show up at the fashion show, so I showed her the proof she needed. Jacqueline had a friend drop her off, I'm assuming because she didn't want her husband or any of the Manzo's to know she was at my house or that we were still friends.Jacqueline seemed so traumatized that night, so we sat on my couch, had a few shots of Cafe Patron and chatted 'til 3 a.m., Jacqueline telling me that she hated Teresa Giudice, and that I had been right about her all along.

When asked how life has changed since leaving the show, Kim admits she has had her ups and downs.

 "I became very isolated. Everybody had the wrong idea about me because of what they saw on 'reality' TV," Kim says

…..At least in this weeks episode Jacqueline and Theresa were able to semi reconcile….But not for long, cuz the old red headed devil- Caroline Manzo is licking her chops in fury waiting to pounce and rip them apart.  But until then, she tries her best to get at Kathy Wakile (Theresa’s cousin), when she states:  “I noticed she is moving toward everyone, but not moving toward you, Kathy”.  Trying to insinuate that Theresa is reconciling with everyone else, except her (which actually maybe true)  but anywhoo,  What this means is Caroline is setting up a backdrop to instigate a continued rivalry between Theresa and Kathy- but Kathy is smart enough not to fall into the trap, and defends her cousin…. Which is something Caroline would be quick to do, so good 4 u Kathy!!!  Go get ‘um girl!!!
Kathy Wakile’s persona is one of a nice girl, who continues to do the right thing even though it isn’t getting her anywhere except into heaven!

Moving on to the Housewives of New York …Ramona Singer, is such a headache, and her husband is a big block head.  And she is lunging at Heather so much, that it is ridiculous.  I think that Aviva, Carole, and Heather should get the new spin off, and Sonja, LuAnn, and Ramona, just get fired.  Sonja is a “has been” who is milking the generosity of her cast mate (let’s not be too quick to call them friends) because after Heather so graciously tries to vamp Sonja’s stupid Toaster Oven Cookbook, LOL, with a FREE cover shoot for the upcoming book, Sonja is an ungrateful rich brat- and shows her true colors of entitlement, when she invites RAMONA, of all people to the brainstorm meeting, knowing that Heather and Ramona can’t stand each other, and on top of that is an hour late to the shoot, and argues about doing a second layout with a new concept.  Concept one (Heather’s): Shirtless, ripped muscled, brawny man holding a toaster oven with chicken inside, standing next to Sonja in her blue gown and tiara (who is fondling his chest) (shown from the neck down- the model didn’t look all that great), Concept 2 (Sonja’s):  Sonja posing in a tiara and an apron over her blue gown with an open toaster oven with chicken inside.  Which cover sounds better- looks like Heather is more of an image designer, since she is extremely successful selling Yummy Tummy- next to Spanx, I wish her well- because until this show I never even heard of Yummy Tummy. But the show is definitely a great tool for promotion.  

Now on to LuAnn:  Last week I told you her mom ratted to the Huffington Post that she has her tubes tied, but you will see over the next couple of weeks that her storyline will carry the whole “I want a baby” spiel…Stay tuned for more crap next week…